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Two Left Feet: Tales of a Clumsy Mum

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If you close your eyes and try to conjure up images of grace and movement, you might think of ballerinas, figure skaters, and ballroom dancers.  I would never fit into any of those roles, and have too many clumsy moments that would easily disqualify me from being called graceful.  Yet I have a part-time job in a boutique where 80% of its products are made of glass.  My latest bone-head move involves the destruction of technology.  So hug your Blackberry’s and iPhones close, there is a reason why I don’t own one.  Indulge me as I share my most recent hippopotamas in a china shop tale. 

I had a long shift at the home decor boutique that I work in.  It wasn’t a terrible day as far as serving the retail population normally goes.  My brain was already racing with the 50 things I needed to do in the 3 hours I had left before sweet girl’s bedtime.  As I was leaving work for the day, I had to retrace my steps back to the store no less than four times to retrieve forgotten possessions.  I’m sure my co-workers thought I was nuts.  On my final attempt to leave, I heard my phone ringing from the depths of my tote.  I am on a pay-as-you-go plan, so no one who knows me actually CALLS unless it is important.  I buy the unlimited text plan because it is so much cheaper.  Anyway, the phone is ringing “Owner of a Lonely Heart” (insert tune), I sweep my hand around the bottom of the bag, and pull it out by the case strap.  As I pull the case out of my bag, the phone flies out of the case, doing pretty little cartwheels through the air.  I attempted to catch it in mid-air, but only succeeded in giving it more momentum.  It hit the tile floor with a crack that broke the faceplate off, and the pieces lay directly in front of my left foot.  As I attempted to pick up the carnage that was my phone, I had a crazy knee-jerk reaction and kicked it.  This spasm sent it skidding about 2 meters away from me. It only stopped when it hit a metal tree pot.  The sight of a black projectile zooming on the floor and the resulting PING – CRACK, scared a group of seniors that were mall walking.  

The entire series of events happened in seconds, but time seemed to stretch and yawn.  I stood rooted in the spot I had first attempted to pick my phone up.  The group of mall walkers stood near the metal tree pot, and the air seemed to echo the sound of phone death.  One of them gingerly picked up the phone guts, battery, back plate, camera piece and walked over to me.  She handed me the pieces, it took two hands for her to transfer and two hands for me to grasp, and said; “There, there, I’m sure it will still work.”  I’m sure the look on my face was quite terrible. It was a mixture somewhere in between crying, embarrassment, and curiosity.  You see, I still don’t know who was CALLING me.  And since it was a pay-as-you-go phone, there is no contract and no replacement policy.  I turn zombie mom, and shuffle out to the parking lot where my husband is waiting to pick me up.  I got in the car holding the pieces and actually managed not to cry.  He took the pieces from my hands and began to put the phone back together.  As he was working, I told him about the cartwheeling phone, and my knee-jerk reaction.  By the time I was done venting, he had finished.  After taking a picture, he sent a text to his phone, and declared it fixed.  He said; “They make these things dummy proof and indestructible.  You know, because of all the walking and texting people do now.”  Gee, thanks (insert eye roll).   I responded; “I wouldn’t have even tried to answer it but someone was CALLING me.”  Hubby ignored my remark and began to whistle and drive.  His phone began to buzz and I picked it up to see if it was my text coming through.  It was my text so that was a relief.  While I was there I flipped to the call/message history.  I knew why he was so eager to help put my phone together.  He had CALLED me, because I had taken so long to leave the mall.

*stock photo by dreamstime.com

What’s For Dinner?

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The dreaded question that hangs over my head EVERYDAY…Whats for dinner?  This question is a pain in the rump!  

Lately, I have become more involved in connecting with other parents and visit a few online forums.  I had noticed an open chat about the importance of shared family mealtime and weighed in on how I felt about the issue.  Thanks to Everything Mom and Swiss Chalet I had the WFD question answered for me.  After participating in the online convo at Everything Mom, my name was picked to receive a $50 Swiss Chalet gift card.

I was thrilled to win, and even more thrilled that it would take a little pressure off me for at least one meal.  The gift card arrived in perfect timing.  Our busy life had become more chaotic when my husband’s grandmother entered hospital.  My hubby and I work opposite hours to avoid childcare fees, we each have volunteer commitments, and now added visiting sweet Nan to the crazy schedule.  One day before heading to work, I didn’t want to leave my WFD question until that afternoon.  I went on the Swiss Chalet website and discovered that I could pre-order our meal and get it delivered or choose the take-out/pick up option.  In a few clicks I had a Chicken and Rib Family Meal reserved for pick up at 6 pm.  It was a welcome treat after a crazy busy week.  Even better?  There was very little clean up.  We had enough food left for lunch the next day.  And we still have ‘money’ left on the gift card to fund another meal. 

Connecting with other parents on Everything Mom fed my need for social interaction.  Swiss Chalet fed our bellies and made a very happy mommy. 

*This blog is the authors genuine account of winning a contest and is not endorsed or sponsored by Everything Mom or Swiss Chalet.

 **photo is from Swiss Chalet  .ca

Sugar Sugar

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Well, day 10 of sugar detox is going surprisingly well.  I am not crazy hungry, and no one has run away from home in fear of my mood swings.  I am not going to use the “D” word, that begins with “DIE”.  I prefer to call this new eating plan, downsizing.  Mostly because I hope it results in downsizing my pants, shirts, dresses, etc.  It is also a prettier word to describe something that isn’t always pretty or easy.  I have lost significant amounts of weight in the past, and even managed to keep most of the pounds off.  For me it requires constant vigilance, and that is the part that wears me down eventually. 

Here are a few things that keep me moving forward in my downsizing plan:

Before you start: See your doctor for a check up and tell them you are thinking about losing weight.  Then talk to a dietitian and find out healthy ways to reach your goal.

Set goals: Set a weight loss or health goal and figure out how you are going to acheive it.  Do you have more success with a work-out partner?  Do you need a weigh-in buddy to be accountable to or give moral support?  I am a lone ranger for the most part, but do need a meal plan to give me specific examples of what I should eat.

Keep positive: Don’t let negativity keep you from reaching your goal.  If you have a bad day or week, move on and try to do better, allow yourself a do-over.  Reward yourself with ‘non-food’ treats when you have success.

Educate yourself :  Read packages, you will be surprised at what is hiding in some of your favourite foods.  Learn about portion sizes, invest in a good food scale, measuring cups, and digital weight scale.  I find that using a smaller plate, or bowl will help me keep portions in check too. 

For example, I began to measure portions, and took note of just how much the serving sizes are for some of my favourite foods.  They aren’t necessarily all junk foods, but things I eat everyday, and contain some sugar.  I don’t eat a lot of take-out or junk food, ‘normal’ foods are making me fat because my servings are often super-sized!  My morning cereal regime was double the suggested serving.

cereal serving 1

Suggested Serving

 

serving 2

Normal Serving

 

More ideas?  Some people find that counting calories and keeping a food journal helps them.  I opted out of those routines.  I have a meal chart from my dietitian that tells me how many starches, proteins, veg, and dairy I should be aiming for during the whole day.

Last, but not least, get moving!  I enjoy walking, but not much else when it comes to exercise.  Find something that works for you and your schedule and stick to it.  Consistency is important, it is hard to reach any goal without it.  Whether it is working toward a promotion at work, or teaching your toddler to potty train.

I am finding it difficult to fit some of my new goals into an already busy schedule.  I find that I have to constantly give myself permission to ‘think of me’.   Like a lot of people in a caregiver role, I sometimes feel guilty for putting my needs into the list of priorities.  I realized that if I don’t take care of myself, I am an unhappy mommy who can’t keep up with her toddler.  I’m sure you will get to hear a lot more about this new ‘sugar-free’ adventure!